I think my vagina is haunted
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
