Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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