I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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