Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
