Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
