White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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