Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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