Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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