We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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