I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
