nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
