Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
