She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
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Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize