i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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