Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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