yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
