I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
