Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Less talking, more tequila
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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