Im at strip club and am horny
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize