So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Randomize
