the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
