The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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