Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
