I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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