that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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