We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
