dude i'm inner monologue high
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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