chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You're a disaster
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