Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
