she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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