so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize