Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
