Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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