You just made me feel so damn special
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
