if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
