worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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