So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She's the barista slut.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
