you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
