Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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