Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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