You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
