i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
