i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize