the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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