Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
