I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
