You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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