dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
