two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
