how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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