i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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