That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
