I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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