i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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