omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
