Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
