yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
