He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
