that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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